Every time I see a bad movie I tell myself “this is it, can’t get any worse than that.” Every time I’m wrong. I’ll just say it right from the start in case you are wondering and haven’t realised it yet: this is gonna be a hell-of-a-bad review. It’s not that I just love discrediting movies (ok, maybe a little…), but I simply can’t help but ask myself “wtf are these people doing when making shit like that.” I wouldn’t say that this movie is entirely shit, but it’s getting dangerously close. Perhaps the problem was that I had not acquainted myself with the movie in advance. Yes, once again I made the grave mistake of setting foot inside the theater with expectations. I’d say I was definitely punished for that transgression. All I knew about the movie beforehand were three names: Russell Crowe, Ridley Scott, and Robin Hood. For what I remember, I enjoyed The Gladiator. Maybe because I was young and stupid, or maybe because it was simply a good movie, it makes no difference now I guess. So what I expected was the old story (about the guy stealing from the rich, giving to the poor, and pretending he doesn’t simply do it to get laid easier) remade by a wonderful director with a pretty decent cast and a nice budget that would allow for more thrilling action scenes and bla bla bla. You know, just a movie about Robin Hood that was better made. Here’s what I actually got…
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For some reason I quite enjoyed this movie. I know, I know, I said that I’ll usually complain and bash things here, but hey, there comes a time when even I am happy about something. Sometimes. Rarely. Anyway, from a critical point of view, the movie is crap. Nothing too new or strikingly impressive. It’s just another action movie based on a good old comic book (the kids will love it!) where the bad guy gets a good old fashioned whooping by the good guys. If I have to describe the movie with one word, it would be exactly “cheesy.” I never actually bothered to look for a proper dictionary definition of cheesy, but somehow I know exactly when a scene or a movie is cheesy. This one was…to the very core. You are probably already asking yourself the question “hey wasn’t this guy gonna say good stuff about the movie?” So here it comes. Even though it was pretty much pumped with cliches and was nothing spectacular on any of the usual parameters, it was quite a fun experience for me. It was funny and clever, and people seem to always look for more in a movie. It seems we don’t go to the theater to enjoy ourselves anymore; we go there to see some spectacular innovative shit that everyone else says is a masterpiece, to which we nod our heads in solidarity, not wanting to seem like we “didn’t get the genius.” Am I talking about Avatar? I don’t know. Anyway, let’s start today’s dissection with the…
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The enjoyment you get from a movie is heavily dependent on the expectations that you have beforehand. Sometimes you need to expect less in order to be satisfied and even pleasantly surprised. It was clear to me from the start that to enjoy this movie, I had to turn my brain off for 2 hours and just assimilate the way various weird and supposedly scary monsters impale themselves on the sword of Jake Sully from Avatar. You know, double the action, triple the excitement, special effects and all that jazz…
Trust me, when I was in the theater, I was more brain-dead than blond zombie hooker, and yet this time it didn’t really cut it out for me. Things in this movie have gone so wrong that even if you approach it with no expectations whatsoever, you will still be disappointed. I’m not even sure where I should begin the bashing. Let’s see, how about we start with the…
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Every time I see a bad movie I tell myself “this is it, can’t get any worse than that.” Every time I’m wrong. I’ll just say it right from the start in case you are wondering and haven’t realised it yet: this is gonna be a hell-of-a-bad review. It’s not that I just love discrediting movies (ok, maybe a little…), but I simply can’t help but ask myself “wtf are these people doing when making shit like that.” I wouldn’t say that this movie is entirely shit, but it’s getting dangerously close. Perhaps the problem was that I had not acquainted myself with the movie in advance. Yes, once again I made the grave mistake of setting foot inside the theater with expectations. I’d say I was definitely punished for that transgression. All I knew about the movie beforehand were three names: Russell Crowe, Ridley Scott, and Robin Hood. For what I remember, I enjoyed The Gladiator. Maybe because I was young and stupid, or maybe because it was simply a good movie, it makes no difference now I guess. So what I expected was the old story (about the guy stealing from the rich, giving to the poor, and pretending he doesn’t simply do it to get laid easier) remade by a wonderful director with a pretty decent cast and a nice budget that would allow for more thrilling action scenes and bla bla bla. You know, just a movie about Robin Hood that was better made. Here’s what I actually got…
