It was a phrase from one of the bosses in World of Warcraft that seems to be stuck in my head even years after I last touched the game. Back then I thought it was just another thing that some Blizzard scriptwriter on speed (he must have been on speed, or at least high; in fact that goes for all of them…the shit they make sometimes…) invented that was supposed to sound cool and make the game more inspiring. Now I can see a bit more clearly the meaning behind the words. What Aran (the in-game boss) actually wanted to yell when he got angry was “Back to the UK with you!” I admit that I’ve been planning this article for some time, and I was going to write it exactly on the day when I came back to Scotland. I also admit that the moment I’m writing this, Scotland is on its way to becoming one of the brightest places on the planet (you know, after the polar night comes the polar day, and I mean polar metaphorically of course you literal bitches out there), but that doesn’t change the fact that in my heart and mind it will always be the cold dark place of Ye Olde Continente that, for good or bad, is my home now.
What I would like to analyze (in my language, analyze should be read as “rant and complain about”) here is not the actual weather and lighting conditions, but to go a bit deeper and to try to make a connection with how these things have affected the people here, or at least my little humble opinion and observations on the matter. Probably I should begin by saying that the cold and the dark really get to you. There’s no way they wouldn’t. I don’t see how any other person in the world is more qualified than me to make that conclusion. First of all, the monkey writing this blog post comes from one of the warm banana trees in Europe. Most of my life I’ve spent in a much warmer place, and I can see how different people are down there than they are up here. It’s not only due to the weather, of course, but I think it does have a significant role. The second thing I’d like to say is that, while there is no doubt that I enjoy the sun and need it as much as everybody else, I do have some vampiric tendencies in choosing and setting up my living space. Recently I was also instructed that emo gay vampires are becoming very popular among the female population of the planet these days due to the Twilight crap, and that for women to like me, I have to be an emo gay vampire myself. That means that I’m already on my way to becoming a serial playboy, but that’s besides the point. The point was that I live in the dark for most of the day, which means that I am more tolerant to the lack of light. The fact that even I notice the absence of sun and warmth around here emphasises the significance of what I’m talking about. Read the rest of this entry »
I seem to have too much time and no life. No, I seem to have too much work hanging over my head, so I’m constantly looking for excuses not to work. This is how it usually goes with people I guess. Anyway, I started fooling around with Adobe Flash and Adobe Fireworks CS3. I decided to draw myself first, and after that I started changing clothes and accessories. A good friend of mine told me (well, she pretty much insulted me in my book) that I look like Sheldon Cooper in the original drawing. I beg to fucking differ. Unless you are a horny hot chick that likes Sheldon Cooper. In that case I can be your Sheldon Fucking Cooper of any fucking body else that you would like me to be. As Courage the cowardly dog puts it, “the things I do for love!” Anyway, the purpose of this post is also to test the gallery feature in WordPress as well as to make up for my lack of (poetic) inspiration lately. I haven’t really been out much these days, nor have I used my brain, so I am in a total creativity drought. Therefore, I am posting this to keep my MILLIONS OF FANS entertained until my dick gets inspired to write something here again. Yes, I write with my penis. Can you deal with that? See, every time I don’t know what to write, I write something profane like that. It’s so tasteless, but it works for me.
Anyway, I plan to draw more cartoons of myself at some point when I’m bored. I will upload them here again, and I will find a way to announce that the post has been updated. I don’t know what other roles I will take on in the next drawings, but I assume I will end up as a cook or a professional gigolo at some point. If you have any requests you can leave them in the comments field. I’ll make sure I ignore them thoroughly.
One day I was browsing the web, trying to find out why I was unable to post a comment on a Youtube video. It was clearly a bug since my comment was in order (no profanities or special characters, within the limit of the character count, comments were allowed for the video), and I wanted to see whether other people encountered the same problem and whether someone came up with some ingenious solution. It turns out some people had the same problems, and others had one of a similar nature: they could not post comments on their own videos. The solution given by the Youtube Help Center itself states:
“If you can’t comment on your channel and video(s) you may have accidentally blocked yourself. To resolve this issue, sign in and go to Account > Contacts. In the “Blocked Users” section search for your name and unblock yourself.”
Needless to say, one of the major facepalm moments in my life followed after I read that “official solution.” Probably I can stop here. Probably I don’t need to go into detailed discussions of the “what kind of a insertrandombadwordhere would manage to accidentally block him/herself.” Probably I don’t need to share my doubts on how one can accidentally block oneself. Probably I don’t need to ask why it’s even possible to block yourself in the first place. Well, naturally, probably I am going to do all those things anyway since I’m such a nice guy. Probably I used the word probably too much and it’s already irritating, but it has also led me to the solution of the problem at hand. Read the rest of this entry »
