Ground Bogo

Banned in over nine thousand countries

I read somewhere that vitamins give you weird dreams. Normally I am very skeptical when I hear things like that and I dismiss them as being absurd. For one reason or the other, however, I put this science to the field test. It’s not that I wanted to have weird dreams or to test whether vitamins give you weird dreams; it all boils down to the fact that I keep forgetting to take them in the morning and always realise that right before I go to bed in the evening.

For years now I’ve heard the same thing over and over and over again to the point when my ears and eyes start to hurt from the already-hardware-imprinted sound/picture into them. As a scientist, when you write scientific claims of any form, whether they are publications, reports, articles, or even pornographic comic strips (scientific pornography ftw!), you have to describe your methods and findings in a way that would allow some retard with half a brain cell that will never repeat your experiment to be able to repeat your experiment. So what I am trying to explain in a whole paragraph actually fits in a couple of words, but I just love to stretch things out and drift off. Just like yesterday when I was walking down the street and…fuck! Anyway, what I’m trying to say is, 200 mg of vitamin C and 30 mg of Zinc (the equivalent of two Tesco tablets) is what I believe I took for 7 days straight right before going to sleep. What I actually took, I dare not even imagine, and I strongly believe that only the CEO of Tesco knows, if anyone.

Bottom line is, it turns out that the rumors may be true. Now, I know that the human mind sees connections and correlations where there are none whatsoever. Just because I had the strangest motherfucking dreams for 7 days straight and coincidentally I was taking my superhuman supplements before going to bed for 7 days straight doesn’t prove anything. Besides, every person is different and it is possible that the named substances will have absolutely no effect on another human. I may continue testing myself and report further, but I’m starting to feel funny every morning after I have some mind-splitting images of weird shit still before my eyes, and I’m not ready to give up on my mind just about yet. I’m not German after all, so I’ll never be able to turn into a crazy German scientist. Pity…