Ground Bogo

Banned in over nine thousand countries

We’ve all had bad moments in our lives. Not only do they occur, but they also seem to cluster and pile up at the same points in time. “When it rains, it pours,” the great minds have said. The not-so-great ones, myself included, have adopted the “shit happens” philosophy. After a sufficient amount of shit has hit the fan, a person sits down, usually on the toilet, rests his/her face in his open palms of desperation, and thinks something like “What have I done to deserve this?” Then you start going through the bad stuff you’ve done in your life, and you think to yourself “Oh shit, I probably do deserve all this. I have done so many bad things in my life.” Fact is, you’re probably an asshole/bitch. That’s the bad news. The good news is…well, so are we all. You are also very very wrong, but who am I to say that.

Karma exists…simple as that. Negativity attracts negativity. If you do shit to people, they will at least be less inclined to help you if you need it, not to mention that the ones among us who do not take the word of Jesus for granted will probably shit right back onto you as well if given the chance. The other way around is also true, but unfortunately happens much more seldom: if you are one of those do-gooders, one out of about ten thousand people might actually decide to return the favor one day. Good stuff! These are the facts of life, tested and proven on the field. No further discussion is needed on this point. Yes, I know I say “shit” a lot, deal with it.

Karma is a good ideal as well as a motivator. It gives you the illusion that if you do good things and are in general a good person, good things will happen to you. It also stops one out of ten thousand bad acts on this Earth from happening by threatening a shitstorm of bad stuff if you eat all the cookies from the fridge and don’t leave any for your friends. Imagine that, open the fridge, see the cookies, reach out…suddenly you see yourself being hit by a car and spending the rest of your life in a wheelchair. At this point, I’d think about pulling my hand backwards and closing the fucking fridge, I don’t know about you. Tomorrow I am collision-safe! Thank the Lord…

Karma does not exist…simple as that. It serves one main purpose, to provide an escape from frustration due the feeling of being powerless and not in control. The truth is that, no matter what I do today, unless I am prepping for a space-launch in a shuttle, nothing will change the likelihood of me being run over by a car tomorrow. My brain refuses to process that. I need to feel in control. I need to know that there are things I can do today so that good stuff happens to me tomorrow. Once again, it works both ways. I need to know that the politician or the corporate ass who fucks up millions of people and is in all reason untouchable by me will get what’s coming to him/her. I will not take the law into my all hands because it is improper, the law will not take the law into its own hands because the system does not allow it, and I simply refuse to accept that. I find solace in the fact that there is a brick on a ruined building that will hit the right head tomorrow…the head that deserves it. Job well done, Karma is a bitch, evil grin, what an irony!

It really doesn’t work that way. Karma is not a bitch, karma is just another prostitute that can be used by the ones that can afford it. She won’t be dancing to your tune, and she won’t be sucking your dick either. But you keep telling yourself that she will one day. It’s ok to lie to ourselves to make-believe and feel better, as long as in the end of the day we are perfectly conscious of what exactly we are doing. Nobody can take away your right to fuck with your own mind, after all…

I read somewhere that vitamins give you weird dreams. Normally I am very skeptical when I hear things like that and I dismiss them as being absurd. For one reason or the other, however, I put this science to the field test. It’s not that I wanted to have weird dreams or to test whether vitamins give you weird dreams; it all boils down to the fact that I keep forgetting to take them in the morning and always realise that right before I go to bed in the evening.

For years now I’ve heard the same thing over and over and over again to the point when my ears and eyes start to hurt from the already-hardware-imprinted sound/picture into them. As a scientist, when you write scientific claims of any form, whether they are publications, reports, articles, or even pornographic comic strips (scientific pornography ftw!), you have to describe your methods and findings in a way that would allow some retard with half a brain cell that will never repeat your experiment to be able to repeat your experiment. So what I am trying to explain in a whole paragraph actually fits in a couple of words, but I just love to stretch things out and drift off. Just like yesterday when I was walking down the street and…fuck! Anyway, what I’m trying to say is, 200 mg of vitamin C and 30 mg of Zinc (the equivalent of two Tesco tablets) is what I believe I took for 7 days straight right before going to sleep. What I actually took, I dare not even imagine, and I strongly believe that only the CEO of Tesco knows, if anyone.

Bottom line is, it turns out that the rumors may be true. Now, I know that the human mind sees connections and correlations where there are none whatsoever. Just because I had the strangest motherfucking dreams for 7 days straight and coincidentally I was taking my superhuman supplements before going to bed for 7 days straight doesn’t prove anything. Besides, every person is different and it is possible that the named substances will have absolutely no effect on another human. I may continue testing myself and report further, but I’m starting to feel funny every morning after I have some mind-splitting images of weird shit still before my eyes, and I’m not ready to give up on my mind just about yet. I’m not German after all, so I’ll never be able to turn into a crazy German scientist. Pity…

Meredith: Apathy kills, Hank.
Hank: I don’t care

…but what Meredith didn’t even fathom to comprehend was the fact that apathy could be an extremely complex mood or feeling or lack of feeling or call-it-whatever-turns-you-on. Apathy is a word often whispered with a negative connotation. Ironically this negativity mostly comes from the overly-positive people; you know, the ones that jump around you at 7 in the morning, wondering why you are so grumpy, and in so doing blocking your way to the oh-so-needed cup of black gold. About an year ago I even found some people that claimed that the opposite of love is apathy – an idea that may have some weight, albeit that being the weight of an anorexic Armani model a couple of minutes before she has her weekly meal. In reality there are many forms of apathy, almost as many as the reasons for it. Some are not even the real thing as it often happens in this world.

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